The Violent Take it By Force
Hi, I am Keno. I am a writer here on Medium. I have written a few successful articles and generally my work is well received. But over the years, I written less and less. I have not been able to deal with it, until now. The war.
I am tired.
I am fucking fed-up of performing well below my par ( and I hardly ever swear) I hate the deep shadows where I have lived for too long. My once servants, then companions — Scrabble, Block Puzzle, Royal Match and Instagram, now control me, and they are cruel. Every day, I am teased with fleeting wisps of ideas for articles, banished immediately by shame. New followers on Medium, subscribing to my articles, but never receiving any. Family and friends waiting for stories that never surfaced. I am mad, angry, disappointed at myself. How did I let it get so bad.
Every single thing keeps me from doing what I love to do. But I remember the scripture. “The Kingdom of God suffers violence and the violent take it by force.” I am not entirely sure what that scripture means. Maybe it fuelled the crusaders, maybe it fuelled so-called Wars of God. I can’t think of that now. I need to take the melodic flow of the verse, tap into my anger and find the violence in me. I needed to take my life back by force. So with a sharpened battle axe in my arm, hidden well behind my back, I invited procrastination back into my life.
Two hours ago.
I held my phone in my hand. It was 8:00pm. Starting on Royal Match until I had no lives left, then unto Block Puzzle, scrolling instagram. I revelled in procrastination whilst listening to videos on procrastination. It was an ambush. Video after video. I distracted procrastination by yielding to the dopamine of games. It revelled in its power, but I struck, again and again. Thwack! Thwack! Until I broke free, I did.
I am feeling good. I feel confident. I can battle procrastination for 15 days. This is day one.